"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Victor Frankyl
Unless we make our choices consciously, hour by hour, and day by day, we’ll continue to do just what we’ve always done, or we’ll take the line of least resistance.
Most of our responses will be knee jerk responses and we’ll just keep getting the same outcome we’ve always got. Now, this is terrific if you love the outcome you’re getting, but if you don’t, then this statement from Victor Frankyl holds the answers for you.
Let’s unpack this…
· If you habitually turn the alarm to snooze every day and catch an extra few minutes of sleep, rather than getting up and having time to start your day in an ordered and calm state, you’ll find yourself constantly chasing your tail.
· If you turn to the kitchen or the coffee machine, every time you feel tired or bored, you’ll never get your weight or your health to where you dream of having it.
· If you keep letting yourself off the hook and avoid going to the gym or your exercise class after work because you are tired, you’ll never have the pulsing energy and fitness you desire.
· If you avoid the conversation you know you need to have, in order to keep the peace... or if you smooth things over every time a difficult subject comes up, you’ll always keep sweeping your unresolved issues under the carpet, and never have the honesty and true connection that’s possible.
· If you fly off the handle or allow yourself to indulge in a sarcastic and cutting comment when something irritates you, then you’ll vent the frustration you feel, but it may be very destructive. You may eventually damage the trust on which your relationship is built… and that trust may be irrevocably reduced or broken.
I could go on, but if you’re not making your choice in the moment when the stimulus happens, then your automatic pilot will make the choice for you... and it’ll be an unconscious, knee jerk response. You may not even realise you made the choice.
What can you do then, to make sure you use the space between stimulus and response wisely?
You can slow things down. You can take a breath when you sense that you feel aroused or triggered. You can stay aware and in the observer space, watching yourself and noticing what’s happening.
If you are observing intently, you’ll see the choice points. If you know your intention and have a clear vision for yourself, you’ll recognise the small choice points. It's the small choices that together enable success to be attained. It's the small choices that enable you to feel content and satisfied with yourself and your life.
It's the small choices that add up to create for you whatever you dream of having, be it a slender, healthy body, incredible focus, great relationships, or a team at work that flies.
Remember:
There is a space in between the stimulus and your response. You have the power to choose your response. In your response lies your growth and your freedom.